Question 1

Your inner wisdom is my authority

Accepted Answer

I believe that every human being has an inner authority that is interested in their own development and recovery. Depending on your worldview, you can give this instance different names: inner wisdom, self-healing powers, intuition, soul, guardian angel, the divine within us, etc.

This authority knows best what it takes for its own further development. It leads us, for example, to 'accidental' encounters. We pick up helpful remarks. Articles or books fall into our hands that come at exactly the right time. But there are also times when it is difficult for us to access this authority.

System and family constellations are a very good instrument to restore this access. Therefore, it is important to me that the constellation is your process. The constellation manager is only there to create a good framework and to provide the tools so that what is happening right now can be shown.

Question 2

Pay attention to what shows up

Accepted Answer

The constellation leader is not the authority on what happens in the constellation, nor does he bring about textbook solutions (although one might wish they were). Unlike some providers of constellations, I believe that solutions only have an effect in everyday life if they are experienced as authentic by the representatives and the client. Therefore, I only intervene a little in the line-up and follow the movements that appear naturally. Offered solution sets are critically checked by the deputies to see whether they are perceived as suitable. A suitable solution step can often be recognized by the fact that the representative or client breathes a sigh of relief and feels significantly lighter.

Question 3

Only what is felt can be released

Accepted Answer

Feelings help us to understand if something in our life is okay or not. If you understand them as signal transmitters, negative feelings such as fear, disgust, anger also have an important task: they want to protect us from something. Once we have understood their message, the negative feelings disappear. It is not always possible to adopt such a respectful and welcoming attitude towards negative feelings. We try to suppress them and preferably not to feel them at all. However, this hardens the topic and the negative feelings remain - at least below the surface. In addition, the permanent suppression of feelings costs a lot of energy. So the essential question is: what do the feelings stand for and what do they want to tell us. Therefore, in the constellations, I make sure that we give space to the feelings that emerge and that the client can follow the constellation emotionally. If, for example, the feelings that two representatives have for each other are unclear, I ask them to make eye contact. When two people look into each other's eyes, they can usually no longer hide behind their "stories" about the other and the true feelings come to the surface.

Question 4

We are always part of a larger system - and yet we can only change ourselves

Accepted Answer

The family constellation assumes that we are always part of a larger system in which we are integrated through relationships. Without our parents and ancestors we would not exist. It is illusory that we make ourselves completely independent of our family system. We will always be connected to him. We ourselves are also involved in other systems (e.g. at work, in a club, circle of friends, culture, country) and are created as a system ourselves (e.g. organs in the body and their interaction, psychological inner parts).If you want to understand topics, it is worth looking at this higher level of the overall system. We or others are often just a symptom of a cause that is often to be found somewhere else in the system. Then it is clear that you cannot find the solution yourself. In terms of health, we all know this. If you have a headache, it can be due to the 2 bottles of wine you drank the night before and you don't have to look for the cause in your head yourself. In companies, too, the "difficult employees" are often not the problem but rather problem indicators that want to draw attention to something completely different. However, what this is exactly, they often cannot name themselves. It is again necessary to look at the overall system in order to clarify this question.However, you can only make changes to yourself. In constellations you can see topics from other e.g. family members. But you have to let them have it. Everyone has their own fate and the right to deal with it as they wish. It would be abusive and manipulative to try to change someone else - even if you think it would be for their own good. Therefore, we work in such a way that primarily the client can change. A system can be imagined as a mobile. If the client changes, it often happens that the other members automatically adapt their behavior as well.

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