System and family constellations Munich
Do you struggle in your partnership, family, job or are you suffering from inexplicable physical symptoms? Do you feel burned out? A system or family constellation can help to find the cause of such blockages, to understand and to solve them. Invisible interrelationships become visible.
In open constellation evenings or individual sessions, you can get to know and experience the method with all your senses.
The next group events in English are: 12.05.24 - 02.06.24 - 03.07.24
Also the next upcoming event (in German) - listening skills required:
How can the family constellation work help to overcome blockades in life?
In a family constellation or system constellation, individuals stand for family members, employees or topics (e.g. money, job, success). They are placed in the room by the client in a way that feels right. The topic that you mirror with these so-called "representatives" becomes visible with all its relationships. You understand the true connections lying beneath the visible and see solutions that you and the representatives perceive as authentic and truthful.
Offers at a glance
Nothing ever ends until it has taught us what we need to know.
(Pema Chordon, Buddhist nun)
Family constellations - my approach
I believe that every person has an inner wisdom that is interested in our own development and recovery. I let myself be guided by this wisdom in my constellations by paying close attention to what I see and hear from the client as well as what the representatives show me. I only offer solutions to the extent that the representatives in the constellation perceive them as authentic. Desired solutions are nice in the short term - but have no transformational effect in everyday life.
My opinion is that "only what is felt can be resolved". Therefore, I pay attantion to things being seen rationally in the constellation, being felt physically and emotionally. We work on all levels: body, mind and soul.
Many issues are actually an "issue of the system"; and not of individuals. This is particularly noticeable in the fact that the issue cannot be solved so easily on an individual basis. I respect and regard the system (e.g. the partnership, the family) as an independent entity. This also means that only the client can change and that one does not change the life or destiny of another person in the constellation.
My work is based on the foundations of family constellations according to Bert Hellinger and also contains elements of the further development of constellation work (e.g. according to Jokisch, De Philipp, Schneider, v. Egidy, v. Kibéd).
Frequently Asked Questions
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Do family constellations always show the truth?
What is a family constellation?
A family constellation is a method in which individual people are positioned (set up) in the room as representatives of family members, employees or topics (e.g. money, career, success) and thus placed in relation to each other. This makes previously invisible relationships visible. The representatives can sense who they are connected to and how. This is usually very revealing. In addition to group constellations, family constellations can also be carried out in an individual setting with the help of figures, floor anchors and symbols.
A family constellation can help with:
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Personal patterns (hindering behaviors, exaggerated emotions, blockages, lack of success, fears, inner restlessness, depression, ...)
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Relationships, love and sexuality (relationship conflicts, relationship problems, separations, arguments, finding new love, sexual balance, difficulty defining boundaries with your partner)
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Family conflicts and tensions (Parent-child relationship, ADHD, behavioral problems, sibling conflicts, inheritance disputes, ...)
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Professional issues and burnout (professional reorientation, difficult decisions, conflicts in the work environment, burnout, ...)
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Health issues (allergies, sleep disorders, psychosomatic illnesses, ...)
Here are a few other signs when a family constellation can be helpful:
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the topic is personally very stressful
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The topic can cannot be solved logically
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The behavior of others (sometimes your own) is incomprehensible
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Your own feelings are not clear or are experienced as 'not your own'
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Repeated behavior patterns (e.g. repeated similar choice of partner)
In a family constellation, (usually previously unknown) participants stand for the family members of the client.
The representatives experience physical sensations, feelings and can name how their relationship to other representatives in the constellation feels and sense whether changes in the constellation feel better or worse for them.
No one can really explain why this happens. Many have ideas as to why this is the case and what it shows.
I observe this in family constellations:
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Everyone has the ability to be a representative and sense things. So no 'special skills' are required.
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Clients always find the feedback they receive from the representatives very accurate.
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It is confirming and clarifying for clients to see these relationship dynamics clearly in a 'picture'.
You can see and feel this effect in every family constellation - even if you cannot (yet) explain the 'why'. I therefore recommend that you come to one of my open constellation evenings in the heart of Munich and experience it in person.
A family constellation takes place in several phases.
Initial discussion: First of all, a initial discussion takes place in which the client shares his/her situation and the desired goal. It is helpful - but not absolutely necessary - to think about your concerns beforehand (see also "How do I prepare for a constellation?"). Clients are welcome to send me these thoughts in an email in advance.
Selection of the representatives: Depending on the issue at hand, I will propose an initial selection of the people/elements that have to do with the specific issue. During the course of the constellation, additional representatives may be added. In family constellations, the father, mother, children, siblings etc. are usually constellated. In organizational constellations, the company, colleagues, superiors can be constellated, in the case of illness also body parts or in the case of decisions also objects, e.g. properties etc. The client intuitively selects a so-called "representative" from the group for each person, who then represents the respective person/group/object.
Setting up the initial picture: The client guides each representative to a place in the room that the client feels is appropriate. This creates an initial image.
Diagnosis phase: The representatives get involved with their assigned roles and places. I ask the representatives about their physical sensations, connections to other representatives and feelings. Gradually, this results in a picture of the relationships as well as relationship blockages and entanglements between the chosen representatives. The picture provides clues to the origin of the problem stated by the client.
Solution phase: In this phase I propose some sentences to be said between representatives. If these sentences are perceived as authentic, they often have a resolving and clarifying effect. This change is clearly noticeable as a relief for everyone taking part in the constellation and has a liberating effect on the life of the client. I give solution impulses and check to what extent they fit and can be accepted and experienced as authentic by the system.
Conclusion: Finally, the client absorbs what we have experienced and the representatives are released from their roles. There is a short final wrap-up.
Basically, no preparation is required. However, if you wish, you will find a few suggestions below.
If you want, you can answer the following questions for yourself in general:
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What is my topic (e.g. in form of a headline)?
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How does this topic manifest itself within me (physically, emotionally, interpersonally)?
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In which situations in everyday life is this topic particularly evident?
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Who else in my family has had the same thing? If so, when or with whom?
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What do I wish for? What would be a good outcome for me?
Answers to the following questions can help with professional issues:
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Who are the acting parties involved?
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How long have they been with the organization (a rough estimate is sufficient)?
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What position do these people have within the organization?
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Have I encountered this issue in other contexts (previous employers, family)?
The following information is helpful for private concerns:
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What existential crises have there been in the family or previous generations? Where was someone (almost) threatened with death, died suddenly/early/unmediated or their financial existence was threatened?
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Are there any issues where a family member has been guilty of something against someone else or a family member has suffered something bad?
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The present family: partner and important former partners, joint children and children from previous relationships, lost children (departures, abortions)
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The family of origin: siblings, half-siblings, parents, grandparents and sometimes siblings of parents and grandparents
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Early death of family members: Siblings (including stillbirths), early death of father or mother, death in childbirth
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Was someone excluded from the family?
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Has someone who has made an outstanding contribution to the family not been recognized?
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Are there family secrets, topics nobody want's to talk about?
If you are dealing with a family issue, it is worth writing down a genogram of your own family and, if applicable, your partner's family. This involves creating a family tree (names, birth-, wedding and death year if possible), and supplementing it with incisive/traumatic events in the family.
How long does a family constellation take on average?
A complete session with diagnostic interview, family constellation and wrap-up discussion takes about one hour in the group and about 1.5 hours in an individual setting, as the client and I take turns in the individual places of the representatives and therefore the individual setting takes a little more time.
It is good to let the impressions, images and information unfold their effect after a family constellation. For me, family constellations are like pictures that have a direct effect on the soul.
If you compare a family constellation with a freshly painted oil painting, it is good to leave it alone for a while after completion so that it can dry properly. If you show it too soon, others can accidentally paint around in the picture and possibly superimpose their own opinion on what was experienced in the family constellation.
I recommend 'tracing' rather than 'thinking'. The subconscious absorbs the impulses from the family constellation and continues to work with the information. This is why it often happens that even in the days and weeks following a family constellation, we suddenly become aware of important connections like an intuition and blockages can be released.
In very rare cases it can happen that someone does not feel well after a family constellation. In these cases, I am available for a phone consultation (included in the fee).
People who take part in a family constellation for the first time often fear that they will not feel anything as a representative or that they will not meet the requirements. These thoughts are unfounded.
It is also not a (theatrical) role that a representative plays.
All you need to do is allow yourself to be led to the place, stand still and "look stupid" - as Holm von Egidy says. The feelings and sensations arise automatically during a family constellation. If someone doesn't feel anything at all, this would also be important feedback from the role. As a representative, you can't really do anything wrong!
These fears and thoughts also disappear as soon as you have stood in your first constellation. To experience this and get to know it without obligation, I recommend attending an open constellation evening.
Do family constellations always show the truth?
What is revealed in a family constellation is not necessarily the 'truth', i.e. data and facts. Instead, it reliably depicts our own 'reality' (German: "Wirklichkeit") - in the literal sense of the 'effect' (German: "Wirkung") that certain things/people have on us. This is also more important for our well-being. Because in relationships between people, the effect that someone has on you is more important than wanting to understand what the 'truth' of a relationship is, which probably doesn't exist anyway.
In constellation work, I look respectfully at what shows up in the family constellation and we take the steps that are perceived as authentic and truthful by the clients and the representatives.
I have always experienced that family constellations have revealed essential and surprising, insightful and new information.
Each family constellation brings the client one step closer to a solution.
Some issues are already 'ripe' or are waiting to be looked at differently. A good solution is often revealed immediately. Other issues are multi-layered, have several causes and one recognizes the next aspect to be solved - one after the other.
Clients have often told me that a solution suddenly emerged afterwards that had not yet shown itself in the family constellation. In this case, the subconscious has absorbed the image from the constellation and continued to work on it. It is therefore a good idea to protect it after the family constellation and keep it for yourself (see: What should I consider after a constellation?).
Frequently Asked Questions
Both forms of constellation have their strengths.
The advantages of a family constellation in a group are
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The dynamics between representatives are easier to recognize. If one representative changes their position, all the other representatives can feel at the same time whether something has changed for them.
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The statements of the representatives, who generally do not know the client or the story, are usually experienced as incredibly coherent and authentic.
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The energy of the group and the sensitive feeling of the representatives support the process of recognizing entanglements, dynamics and family secrets.
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Confidentiality is important. The prerequisite for participation in a group is the written commitment of the participants to treat personal information confidentially. Each participant confirms this by signing the list of participants.
The advantages of an individual constellation work are
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The setting is more intimate and therefore more comfortable for some clients, as they are already agitated anyway.
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The constellation process takes longer and gives the client more time to feel things emotionally.
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The client goes into different constellations themselves (together with me) and can therefore feel the emotions and connections of different positions themselves.
My recommendation is always to listen to your own gut feeling. The format to which you feel more drawn to will be the right one.
Would you like a group constellation in Munich? Then click here for more details.
Do you prefer an individual session? Then click here for the details.